39 Weeks
Digital Photography Series
2014
I photographed this series called '39 Weeks' one week away from my pregnancy due date. There was no makeup, no retouching (as usual, I like to get what I want in-camera as opposed to post production) utilizing natural morning light. My pregnancy was a beautiful and wild surprise, and was quite the journey. I was diagnosed with "hyperemisis gravidarim" at about 9 weeks. Which means I experienced what felt like that worst hangover of my life, every day for 4 months then continuous nausea for the remaining 5 months. Two trips to the emergency room in which I had to have IV fluids right away to rehydrate my body, as I couldn't even hold water down. I thought I was dying several times, and was totally shocked each time the doctors and nurses said that the baby and I were totally healthy. I've never felt such Joy and complete anguish, at the same time. I swore to myself that I would take self portraits at least once, during my pregnancy, however I endured so many physical challenges it almost never happened. There I was, 39 weeks, and one sunny summer morning where the light was angelic. I had gained a lot of weight since I discovered carbs were my only remedy. I typically practiced (and practice) a whole food vegetarian natural health diet, however, quickly went for the scones, muffins, and mango nectar to survive. All my romantic, spiritual, natural pregnancy dreams pre-baby belly were reconciled with quite abruptly. Thank Goddess for my Spirituality, as I vow that Prayers, Affirmations, Aromatherapy, and Crystal therapy were what kept me alive. One sunny morning, I felt pretty good, and the light was exquisite, so I waddled to get my tri-pod, camera, and remote release and seized the moment. I focused on all the Love in my Heart and started photographing. I seriously had the thought I might not survive the birth, so I better take these photos now. All along both baby and I kept getting great health reports and a natural pregnancy was predicted. However, many days felt like my last. I successfully naturally birthed my daughter Aspen 4 days after her due date, 11hours labor and 20 minutes pushing! When the nurses said push, I was seriously ready. Aspen is now 4 years old and a healthy miracle in every way. She's bright, strong and full of Love. We nursed for 18 months and co-slept for 3 years, naturally graduating each developmental step. Motherhood is the wildest experience I've ever had, and I've had quite a few!! I Give Thanks each and every day for her gifting me with Motherhood and this totally transformative experience. The most important lesson I've learned is the Infinite Healing Power of Unconditional Love. Through each and every up and down that Motherhood presents, Unconditional Love is always the Answer. Each one of us has an opportunity to experience and choose Unconditional Love, whether it's through Motherhood or another human experience, the choice is always presented to us. As Love is truly our center, our essence, our beginning and our end. Love Is All There Is.
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